I'm a bitch today..

And I can care less.

It's that time of the month [TMI?] and every little thing is infuriating me..

I had a 6 hour shift at work, which isn't bad at all.. but does it have to be so hot? I drove home in my car with the AC on full blast, and it did nothing whatsoever.. came in my apartment and put on shorts and a tank top- put the air on, and here I am.. Writing a blog.

Me and the fiance got in a fight last night.. That's the thing with us. We love each other so much, but when we fight, we fight hard.. there's like no such thing as an argument.. but when the fight's over, its over forever.. Would you say that's healthy or no?
Everyone gets in fights though, right?

I am scared to death of losing my job.. It's something I always think about. :( I am definetly lucky to have a job right now anyway, but people lose jobs all the time these days..

My mother wants me to go over to her apartment tonight for dinner.. Do I go, or not? I'm not in that kind of a mood where I can just deal with my father.. I would end up saying something to him, and that'd be .. complete hell.

See, my father is a very very stubborn man.. Never thinks he is wrong about ANYTHING. You can prove him wrong, and he still won't admit it. It's terribly frustrating.. He's almost impossible to please. He only wanted a daughter.. not a son.. And I have an older brother. All growing up he treated me amazing. I was his princess, ya know? But that made my brother just hate me that much more.. If my older brother ever got him mad, I would have to see some stuff that I wish I didn't.. and if I didn't see it, I was hearing it.. Anyway, once I hit a certain age, I was no longer his 'little girl'. I was growing up.. I talked back, was the typical teen.. And that's when he startes to stop liking me as well. .

I feel terrible for my brother, for his father not loving him.. but it wasn't super easy for me, either.. Being treated like a princess to like dirt in a short amount of time.. It's hard, still.. I miss my daddy.

But tonight if I go, it will be the same.. I'll say hi, he'll just look at me.. We'll eat dinner, he'll have that look on his face.. Oh, bloggers, I wish I could even explain this look.. It's the worst. He always looks furious.. Makes you scared to do anything wrong.. Than he'll go in his room, and get mad at my mother asks anything of him. That makes me mad too.. and makes me feel guilty for moving out in the first place. I was kind of like her escape.

Well, I feel like this is getting a little long..
I should cut it short.

I'm really not a bitch, though..
Maybe today I just have very little patience..
Can't he just be happy for once?

Hey, if you guys have any tips you think would help, I'd love to hear.

Enjoy the rest of your day, bloggers!